Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Believe



This time of year I think is hard for everyone. It's a great time of year, but also very stressful. I know I feel it. I want to have a "perfect" Christmas and my kids to get everything they want, but that is just not going to happen. They are at an age where they are not sure they believe in Santa or not. They are questioning me about it everyday. I am trying to be truthful, but not destroy something that I believe is so magical. What does this have to do with Art and Believing? I guess it comes down to the same thing. I want to believe in my art and myself, but it's hard sometimes. I want some answers. I want someone to tell me I am on the right path. That this is the way I am supposed to be going. It's not easy to sit and try. Sometimes you just want the Universe to tell you "YES you are supposed to be an artist" and it doesn't. I have made some sales on Etsy and that makes me feel good. But ultimately it comes down to how I feel about it. And as much as I love to make art, it gets complicated. I want to make it for myself, but I also want to make it to help support my family and I am not sure if those two things always go together. I would love to think that they do, but when I think about what I want to make and what I think will sell they don't always seem the same. I will say right now that I think this line of thinking is a great disservice to the people who buy my art. I know that. So, how do I not separate the two ways of thinking? I don't know. I do know that I am trying very hard to believe in myself right now. With all the activity coming with the pending holiday getting into the studio is hard. I feel like there is not enough time to work. I have started getting ready to keep an art journal. Something that is portable that I can do whenever I get a chance. I think that will be a good start. I am hoping painting ideas will come to me that way and I can convert them to the canvas or wood or whatever I find. I am wondering if any of you artists out there are having the same dilemma? Maybe it's just that the New Year is pending and I am not sure that I have a whole lot to show for this past year. I wanted to do more and be great at it. I'm not so confident that I met those goals. Maybe next year?

P.S. Santa, please bring me Art Supplies :)

1 comment:

Alea Bone said...

This is a great post! This time of year IS all about believing: in Santa, ourselves and each other. If you love the path you are on, then you are doing the RIGHT thing. Love is the greatest gift we can give, your art embodies that love and the world is richer for what you have to offer (whether anyone buys it or not).