Monday, January 31, 2011

New show...New Anxiety

I hung my show up at Akasu Salon and Spa today. I had made 22 pieces. 19 were hung. The last 3 didn't fit which is fine. I brought everything I had made. I am feeling so anxious about this. I feel like I worked so hard for this show and then when I look at the pieces I am just not sure if they are good enough. I am the typically pretty insecure when it comes to showing my art to others. I love making it, LOVE IT. I just get so nervous when I have to stand by it. I feel like it's not just a judgment of my art, but of me too. Maybe it is. I guess it definitely shows whether you have any talent or not. I always hang a show and then completely second guess everything I have done. I want it to knock peoples socks off. Which I know is pretty ridiculous. Everyone has their own tastes and not everyone is going to like my work. Of course, what if everyone hates it. I hope not. 

I took some pictures. I took them after the pieces were hung so they are not the greatest as far as light. But you get the idea. When I look at them I wonder if I have any kind of "style". I don't feel like my art is easily identified as mine. I don't think it necessarily looks like someone else in style. I just don't know if it's all cohesive. I just get bored doing the same thing over and over again. So, I change it up. Maybe that isn't such a good thing. I just don't know. 

Anyway, below are the pictures. This is an incredibly nice place and it smells wonderful. Thank you to the wonderful Sarah Mathis for allowing me to do this show. I am assuming the anxiety will leave me at some point. I have to do some more pieces because the space needs more. Nothing like working under a little bit of pressure to get the creativity moving . I thought I would chill today, but I think I will work. It takes my mind off of all the anxiety that is brewing in me right now. 

Again, I apologize for the quality of the pictures, I had to work around the rooms so the lighting isn't very good and some of the pictures look crooked (but they are not).

Next up is the Love Show! I will be posting a picture of what I came up with for that one tomorrow.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Painting Angst...

I am a painter. That is what I do. I am also many other things, but if you ask what I do I will say I paint. These last two day I have not been able to paint and I am going a little crazy. My kids came down with high fevers and I needed to take care of them. I did so without complaint. But tonight I started to feel VERY, VERY crabby. Like something was itching at me that I couldn't get to. I realized it's because for the last two weeks I have been painting. Every day. Every day I go to the studio and I turn up the music and paint. It is what I do. Going without painting for me causes major crankiness in my life. I strive to always be a good mother and a good wife and nice to people. But when I don't paint I find that harder to do. I miss painting with every bone in my body. I miss laying down the wax or the gesso and putting all of it down on the wood or canvas. My kids are fine now, but I had to help them with some school stuff this evening so I couldn't get out there. I sometimes just take five minutes to go in my studio and look around. It's not the same. It's actually probably a bad idea because it makes me think of what I am missing. 

I didn't start out as a painter or anything creative really. I knew there was something that I wanted to do. I tried many, many things. Cooking, making bath goods (I made so many bath salts etc.. I was giving them away to my friends all the time) I made soap, and took a floral design course. I tried many things until I came to painting. The one that lasted the longest was card making. I thought "aha, this is it I can make cards" then I figure out that they were very limiting and all the junk that was in my brain was not really appropriate to a small card. Then I moved on to a small journal, than a bigger journal. Eventually I pulled out a canvas and put down paint. I collaged the hell out of that thing. I save it because it reminds me of where I started. It's REALLY bad (trust me, I'm not being modest). I put every little do-da I had on there. Dominoes, tags, clip art you name it it's on there. I started with Turquoise and Peach! Ugh. But it was a start. That one collage made me feel like I could actually do something creative. It released something in me. Now I know I can never go back. I can whip out a card, or even some soap if I so choose. But nothing will ever take the place of painting for me. It is my release. I keep so many things in my head that if I paint one painting there is always one on the way. It just piles up and has to be released. The damn breaks and that's it. I feel like that damn has been backed up and I am going to burst at the seams. Tomorrow I paint. 

On a happier note, I am in the Love Show for 2011. I was in it last year and I had so much fun. I am excited to participate this year. I finished my piece on Saturday. I haven't taken any pictures of it yet, but will tomorrow. I am also in another show where over 20 of my pieces will be shown for two months. It's at the Akasu Salon and Spa on N. Williams in PDX. I am really excited for this show. I just don't want to show work that I have on Etsy. So I have been working really hard to make some new things. I am really happy with how it is all turning out. I have many pieces to go, but if I can get back to it I know I will finish them all. It's been a good challenge and aside from being side-railed these last two days I feel like I am on a good painting roll. The way I feel right now tells me that getting to it will be no problem. I don't usually paint from ideas, but just start to paint and see what comes. But I am swimming with ideas. They all need to have a home. 

I will post pics when I am done. I want to keep working and not worry so much about how it all is looking.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

New Year, New Stuff...

Happy New Year! OK, I know it's already the 4th, but it takes me a while to catch up to all this stuff.I had a very nice holiday with my family, but now it's back to normal, mostly. My daughter came down with a cold last night (after 1 day at school!) and passed it on to me. So we have been huddled up today. I planned on getting out to the studio, but I felt like that would not be a good choice. Aside from the cold stuff I am dealing with, it's FREEZING cold in my studio. Very, very cold. The bonus is that I am out of the wind. I have a lovely mechanics suite that I wear, but I was just too tired to put it on today. I have lots to do. As you will see from the pictures above I have my work cut out for me.

My favorite thing from Christmas was getting gift cards for Art Supplies. My FAVORITE kind of shopping. I knew I was running low so it was time for some fun shopping. I went to two of my favorite art stores. I've Been Framed and Art Media. I was lucky in that I was able to go to Collage on Woodstock before Christmas. I stocked up on some things there too. I feel like I have a chance to start fresh and new this January. 

I have many ideas and not a clue where to start. I am currently finishing up a Christmas/New Years gift for some friends. It's not completely done (read above paragraph about the cold) but it's just about finished. It's encaustic. I love working with wax again. It had been a little while. When it gets this cold out though, it's a little harder to work with. I have had to layer it a little more than I usually do otherwise they get some tiny cracks that I keep having to heat up and fix. I think the piece is turning out kind of cool. They love Paris and have been there a few times so some Paris theme had to be involved. I am excited to post it on here when it's done and they have seen it. 

I believe (am crossing my fingers) that the New Year is going to be bringing some pretty big changes my way. I am not sure yet, but am hoping so. It's just a matter of time. When I find out for sure I will post it here. 

Also, I have a show! February I will be having a show for two months at a local spa. I am very excited about this. I have to get cracking. I want to put some fresh work up. So, cold be damned. This girl needs to get out and play!